September 2018

Dear Sages,
I have two kids—7 and 11 years old—and I just sent them back to school after a great summer. They were excited to return to school and start with new teachers, make new friends, and learn what their new grade has to teach them. I, on the other hand, am experiencing anxiety about being separated from them—especially with all the news about violence in schools. I’ve never really experienced this feeling before and I’m not sure what to do about it. I know I can’t protect them from everything 24/7 but I find my heart aching each time I send them out to catch the bus. What can I do?
Signed,
Worried Mom

Dear Worried Mom,
We empathize with your concern and we’re sure that there are other parents and caregivers in our Sage Community that share in your anxiety and worry. A saying we refer to in times of worry is this one in the words of Erma Bombeck, “worry is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do but never gets you anywhere.” However, we must add that the worry isn’t some meaningless emotion that should be overlooked. Perhaps, the anxiety and worry are indicators of something else. With reports of mass violence in schools, it is completely understandable why you would feel such anxiety. One may wonder, “How can I protect my children if I’m not with them?” Believe us when we say, we empathize fully! Have you been informed of the safety procedures of the school in the event of a natural disaster or crisis? If not, reach out to the school and ask about specifics regarding plans in place and express your concern. Maybe once you speak to the school and learn of crisis procedures you will feel more at ease. Now… we also don’t want to rule out the other unconscious forces that may be at play. Are you experiencing anxious feelings because you are grieving the loss of your “great summer?” You mentioned that one of your children is 11. So, going to middle school? Could this be bringing up anxiety about growing older, babies growing up? Acknowledge your emotions, explore further why they are there, and receive support from the school and those that love you. Wishing you a wonderful school year and a great fall, winter and spring ahead!
Signed,
The Sages


Dear Sages,
I am 72-years-young and I retired this summer. I have enjoyed a long and satisfying career in advertising but felt I was definitely ready to make a change and begin relaxing and enjoying my leisure time on a daily basis…or so I thought. After a fond farewell to my friends and colleagues at the office in May I headed home to relax and unwind. The first few weeks were great! I caught up on projects around the house, read a book just for fun, and even got together with a few of my retired buddies for lunch a couple of times. But now I’m getting bored, feeling a little useless, and I think I may be driving my wife kind of crazy! I’m a healthy man so I expect be around for at least a few more years—and I’m starting to feel anxious as I look ahead and don’t really have anything to do. Did I make a mistake by retiring? I hate the thought of the cliché of being a Walmart greeter in my old age…but what else is there for me?
Signed,
Retired and Regretful

Dear Retired and Regretful,
Good questions!! Sounds like you are searching for purpose and meaning. In the words of M. K. Soni, “retire from work, but not from life.” Work has much meaning for many of us: identity, status, wealth, security, comradery, just to name a few. And perhaps you are feeling you’ve lost some of this. What other interests do you have? Are there activities that you use to enjoy that you’d like to reignite? Are there activities you’d like to do that you’ve never done? Places you’d like to visit? Perhaps this is an opportunity for you and your wife to relate in a new and different way. In addition to your search for purpose and meaning, you may be experiencing grief. This may be likely as you describe multiple losses as a result of your retirement. It may be helpful for you to recognize that you may be grieving to make sense of some of these feelings that are coming up. The Sages often counsel people during times of change such as this—supporting clients in finding their new evolved selves and helping navigate challenges that may arise. What else is there for you to do, you ask? So much! The world is yours! We like the Spanish word for retirement which is jubilación—rejoice.
Sounds much better than retire, don’t you think? We hope that you move from being retired and regretful to relaxed and rejoiceful! Please contact us anytime!
Signed,
The Sages